Your attitude toward age determines your later-life wellbeing
We live in a time when there are more elderly people, living longer lives than at any other point in human history. Yet, remarkably, our attitude toward ageing and the aged has never been more dismissive, more destructive, than it is in the modern day.
Disturbingly, a range of recent studies have provided evidence that negative beliefs about ageing are a contributing factor in the onset of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
For many, the findings of this research will be unsurprising. There is a growing understanding that our mind has a powerful influence on our health and wellbeing; what we believe to be true can actually trigger physical and physiological changes in the body. (For instance, the ‘placebo effect’ is well-known in medical circles and demonstrates the power of the mind to instigate healing through the power of belief.)
This new insight into the cause of Alzheimer’s and dementia highlights the need for us to examine our inherited beliefs about ageing. It is time, perhaps, to reconnect with a more natural, healthier understanding of the value of growing older.
Our natural approach to ageing is evident (as with most things) when we observe children. Unsullied by the expectations of society, children love to pretend that they are grown-ups; older, wiser. In their innocence, they adore the idea of ageing. It is only in adulthood that we stop appreciating the joys of adding years, experience and wisdom to our lives. We begin to fear or resist the process of growing older. Why?
“Make a conscious decision to expand as you grow older. Instead of shrinking into yourself as you age, use your time to widen your influence and broaden your horizons.”
According to experts, the greatest change in attitude towards ageing has occurred in the last two hundred years. In this time, society has changed immensely and, with it, the expectations and judgements that are a part of our common psyche. Over time, these expectations have become lies that we tell ourselves and others; they sit in the depths of our subconscious and drive fear-based behaviours and attitudes. Some of these lies include:
Your value is measured by what you do: Modern society idolises busy-ness, productivity, competitiveness, and accumulation. Therefore, you are seen as a burden if you are not contributing to society physically or financially, or showing an eagerness to ‘get ahead’. Sadly, this obsession with ‘doing’ ignores many benefits of stillness; of reflection and community sharing. As we grow older, we may lose the ability to be constantly busy and competitive, but we increase our ability to accumulate and disseminate wisdom, to provide solid emotional support and to set examples of growth and resilience.
Perfection is obtainable and desirable: Over recent centuries, humanity has come to believe that it can control both the environment and the human experience to the smallest degree. This has created an outrageous belief that perfection is possible if all the elements are controlled correctly. Society’s drive for perfection is not only unhealthy, it is unattainable and inherently unnatural. As you age, your body, your mind and your outlook may become less aligned with society’s idea of perfection, but they will increasingly reflect the beauty and strength of nature; the incredible ability to adapt, to grow and to endure.
People are like machines; they wear out over time: The dawn of the industrial age signalled a change in mindset for humanity; it became a common assumption that everything (the cosmos, nature, humans) was machine-like. Hence, it was long considered that your body was a biological machine that would eventually wear out and that your brain was wired in a set pattern, and could not be reprogrammed. The folly of this mechanical view has become apparent over the past century. It is now known that your body is in a state of constant renewal, and your brain can create and recreate new patterns and behaviours until the day you die. Within twelve months, you essentially recreate an entire new body: new cells, new neurons, new possibilities. You are not wearing out — in fact, each year, you are brand new.
Death is something to fear and avoid: As modern society has become farther and farther removed from a natural state of being, the fear and avoidance of death have grown. Those approaching the end of life (those who remind us of our inevitable death) have become feared, ignored and isolated. Too often, the elderly find themselves withdrawing from society and becoming more reclusive. Social practice and the media only perpetuate this isolation; death is something to be avoided or sensationalised; the elderly are to be disregarded or institutionalised. However, death is a natural part of life, and there is incredible power to be found in recognising and appreciating the role it plays in our lives. By accepting and acknowledging our mortality — instead of avoiding it — we open ourselves up to the very gift of life. We are better equipped to treasure each moment and grasp every opportunity we are offered.
Tips for Conscious Ageing:
Redefine your measurement of success. Dismiss society’s lie about productivity and learn to value yourself and others based on factors that make a real difference to the world, such as wisdom, kindness and leadership.
Start each day with a sense of purpose. Your purpose could be as simple as expressing yourself authentically, amplifying faith or gratitude, or choosing to be a vessel for tolerance and kindness.
Forget perfection; embrace evolution. Laugh at the absurdity of society’s drive for perfection. Instead, celebrate the wonders of being a natural being. Thrive in your ability to grow, adapt, learn and endure.
Expand into old age. Make a conscious decision to expand as you grow older. Instead of shrinking into yourself as you age, use your time to widen your influence and broaden your horizons. Touch more lives, visit more places, learn more languages and explore more cultures.
Stay curious. Never stop learning. As your brain cells renew, make a conscious choice to fill them with new ideas and knowledge. Be curious and rebellious; be willing to change your mind and question your prior beliefs.
Make peace with death. Find the courage to face your own mortality. Appreciate the gift of life and meet each day — whether challenging or celebratory — with a sense of gratitude and grace.
In many parts of the world, old age is largely regarded as an unfortunate addendum to one’s active and productive life, and this deeply embedded prejudice could take generations to change. However, society is nothing more than a collective of individuals, and we each have an opportunity to instigate change by enhancing our own perspective on ageing.
Regardless of the stage of life we are in, we can enjoy longer, happier and healthier lives when we embrace the ageing process; when we remain enthusiastic, curious, active and socially connected.
As influential as factors such as genetics, socio-economics, and fate may be on our longevity and wellbeing, it is up to us to determine how we choose to approach our later years. Will we allow ourselves to fade into irrelevance and invisibility? Or will we step gracefully and gratefully into the final phase of our lives?
The choice is ours.
Many of us, in our modern lives, have become disconnected from the concept of natural timing and life’s innate rhythms. Throughout late 2025, I am exploring what it means to have a healthy relationship with time and the natural cadence of life. Throughout November, I am exploring the ways we can reconnect with the natural cadence of ageing and lean into older age with curiosity, enthusiasm, and joy.
Join me on Instagram or Linkedin for regular updates and insights.